God First

I'm struggling to catch Oswald's overarching theme today.

Trust -- not in man, not in the law, not in sacrifices -- but in God's grace. Is that it? I know I cannot trust in me. Yesterday, I was deeply discouraged with everything -- me, church, my husband, all my relationships, the weight of my responsibilities, the impossibility of getting it right. I was ready to throw in the towel.

Today, while I am still tired and discouraged, I sense God's grace all around me. I woke early with a headache, took two ibuprofen, and went back to bed. A day off -- grace. Medicine -- grace. I listened to the rain streaming and running off the roof -- grace. My girls came inside from the tent they had set up the night before with bundles of wet blankets and pillows. Giggles -- grace. My husband made us fried egg sandwiches and coffee -- grace. I went shopping for new glasses -- grace in the science that gives clear vision to my failing eyes; grace that I can afford to buy the cure. My son returned home safely from a trip -- grace. I read the sad and profound thoughts on a good friend's blog -- grace. We sat down to dinner together as a family and talked and laughed as we ate -- grace. And then there are the hundreds of people who have poured into my life, people I don't even know who have sacrificed for my safety, my freedom -- grace.

I know I'm just scratching the surface, and these are simply his blessings -- not the true gift of himself -- but the point is that yesterday I could not see them. And today I can.