"Yes -- But . . ."

I'm not big on common sense, so what I fear is not that God wants me to go against common sense and do something crazy but that he wants me to do the dutiful, commonsensical, delayed-gratification thing right in front of me. I would like to quit my job, pursue an MFA in creative non-fiction and try to write a book -- all of which flies in the face of the common-sense reminders that 1) I can barely handle what is currently on my plate; 2) I have two boys in college and mounting debt; 3) my two girls need a mother whose already compromised brain is still fractionally present with them and their needs; and 4) my husband has been bearing the burden of supporting this family on his own for the majority of our marriage. No, abandoning common sense is not the challenge; facing it is.

In this my 50th year, where my entire future no longer stretches before me rich with time and possibilities, I would very much like to hear God calling me to pursue my dreams. Honestly though, I'm not sure I do.