Why I Don't Pray: Part 2
The title is probably a misnomer because it implies that I don't pray on purpose or that I don't believe in prayer or that I'm defending my decision not to pray. None of which is true. Rather, my case is one of roughly thirty years attempting to be a person of prayer and failing and wondering why. If I understand why I have failed, perhaps I'll be in a better position to start afresh. Perhaps. (You can read part 1 here.)
I'm convinced that at least part of my problem with prayer lies in my theology. I believe staunchly in the sovereignty of God; that is, I believe God is absolutely in control. Webster uses the phrase "freedom from external control" and the synonym "autonomous."
I do not believe that my prayers are going to change God's mind, and on top of that, I'm convinced that's for the best. God is all-knowing. He sees the Big Picture in the most literal of senses. I am not and do not. My prayers are often self-centered, and if he answered all my prayers in the positive, who knows what kind of havoc might be set loose on the world at large.
You begin to see the problem. I'm not a philosopher, but I fear my belief in sovereignty, election and predestination borders on fatalism and defeatism. (Probably a good assignment for me in the definitions and implications of those terms.) If God's gonna do what God's gonna do . . . why pray?
Nevertheless, I do sporadically engage in fervent prayer -- most notably with regard to my children. Yesterday morning I prayed that my daughter Nora would have peace as she took her driver's test. I prayed that she would have a clear mind and not make stupid mistakes. I had been praying for approximately 10 minutes when Nora called. She was passing going into her last turn when she made a stupid mistake. She turned left from the curb lane when a left-hand turn lane was present. She failed.
This morning I prayed and walked for approximately an hour while my son Carter was throwing the discus at the Division 3 National track & field competition. I prayed that he, too, would have a clear mind -- void of distractions. I thought of how Eric Liddell said, "When I run, I feel His pleasure," and how Carter told me that when he really connects with a throw, he feels God's blessing. I prayed that Carter would really connect with one of his throws. I prayed that he would do his best. When I came home from my walk, my husband told me Carter had blown out his shoe during warm-ups. He had borrowed a shoe from a teammate, and he had thrown 10 feet under his personal record.
These are just two examples, and I know they are not of "world peace" caliber. I have not been lifted into the heavenly places as Oswald describes, and I do not know the Father's heart and mind.
I have feet of clay, and Oswald's words today seem far, far away from me and my life.
"I'm convinced that at least part of my problem with prayer lies in my theology. I believe staunchly in the sovereignty of God; that is, I believe God is absolutely in control. ..... I do not believe that my prayers are going to change God's mind"
ReplyDeleteBarbara
I grew up as a believer in a Presbyterian church where Reformed theology was taught, and for many years it had exactly the same effect on me. Until I heard some teaching that changed everything .....
Yes, God is sovereign, but that doesn't mean he automatically exercises his sovereignty all the time and in every situation. One of the amazing things about God's creation of humans is that he gave us the ability to make choices, even the choice to disobey him.
In Genesis he gives the human race the authority to act, make decisions and be responsible. ("Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over ... every living creature"). It is a little like a parent giving their child the responsibility to keep their room tidy - of course the parent still retains overall authority, but has in a sense delegated that authority to the child.
Jesus did the same thing. He clearly states and shows his authority, but then he delegates it to us - "whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven", etc.
So, many things happen or don't happen on earth because we humans choose to do them or not do them. Jesus said to Jerusalem: "How often I wanted to gather you like a hen gathers her chickens, but you wouldn't let me".
So this is why we pray. God has delegated some of his authority to act to us, and we are truly responsible for our choices and much of what happens. But we often lack the wisdom to know what is best and the power to do it. So we pray to voluntarily invite God back into the situation, to act as only he can. There are some cases where he would act if we invite him, but may not act if we choose to go our own way.
God's sovereignty, far from being a reason not to pray, is the very basis of our praying. When I heard this teaching almost 30 years ago, it changed my wife and my life, and we pray together every day as a result. I hope it may assist you too. (I have a whole Bible study on this topic.)
Best wishes.
Uncle E, thanks for your comments. I'd like to read more. Is your Bible study available online?
ReplyDeleteThanks Uncle E, I'd like to read more too.
ReplyDeleteBarbara, you have definitions for many words. Perhaps you also need a definition for prayer.
ReplyDeleteYou gave us two examples about praying for your children that are one type of prayer: supplication.
Most of us think of supplication - asking for something - when we think of prayer. Consider what kind of relationship you would have with your husband if you only talked to him when you needed money or to use the car or for him to do something for you. Do you think God is pleased when we only talk to Him when we need something?
Try praying this acrynym for prayer every day for 30 days: ACTS.
A: adoration; begin by expressing your appreciation of His wonderful attributes.
C: confession; agree with God that you have specific sin in your life that you want to deal with in His presence.
T; Thanksgiving; acknowledge the grace, mercy, and kindness He pours out on you and your family.
S: Supplication; only after meditating on Who He Is, who you are, and the way He loves you is the time right for asking Him to meet your needs. Now you can ask for His best answer and trust Him to answer in a way that is best.
Finally, prayer is not only talking, it is listening.
An old hymn says,
"I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses,
And the voice I hear
Falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.
And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share
As we tarry there
None other Has ever known."
That is the sweet mystery of prayer; talking to God and hearing His voice - communicating with each other. It is joy unspeakable.
Be blessed,
Lynnda
Hi Barb & Dawn,
ReplyDeleteIt isn't online, just on paper, but I'll see what I can do. I am busy so it may take a short time, but I'll get it done. Glad if it can be of help!
Eric
Dear Barb & Dawn
ReplyDeleteI have put the prayer notes we discussed in a form suitable for the web and you can find it on my website at prayer.pdf. You can read it online or save it and print it out. I hope it helps.
Eric