God is not only with me. He is in me. I have to remember that. Maybe first I have to convince myself that it's true, and then I need to grasp hold of that fact and cling to it for dear life.
I am not my sin. I am not my mistakes. I am not just a hopelessly flawed human being struggling to keep my head above water. God is in me. His Spirit is shaping me, molding me, re-creating me.
He is not the Authority from whom I need to hide because I screwed up or because I cannot possibly meet his expectations. He is not waiting in the principal's office or sitting in the audience to critique my performance. (How did these ideas become so inextricably linked to my understanding of God?)
It is he who is at work in me. He is in me. He is with me. He is on my side -- not waiting to judge me but to love me, to heal me, to make me whole.
When I write or speak or reach out in love, I am working out what he has worked in. We are a team.
He is in me.
Keep writing, Barb. You have a marvelous ability to communicate in an engaging, revealing and stimulating way. I am sure this is a demanding discipline, but it has great value to you and others. I look forward to your entries.
ReplyDelete