"In every wind that blows, in every night and day of the year, in every sign of the sky, in every blossoming and in every withering of the earth, there is a real coming of God to us if we will simply use our starved imagination to realize it" -- Oswald.
Well, that's just about perfect. I'm not sure what I can add, but this is supposed to be my words, my journey, so . . .
All day long as I sat at work yesterday, I wanted to be somewhere else -- anywhere else. It was all I could do to stay in my chair and try to concentrate. Words, ideas, creativity were elusive. It seemed dollars ticked by like minutes, mimicking my lack of productivity, and as soon as 4:30 came, I practically jumped out of my chair. On the drive home, the twin siren songs of food and murder (of the PBS variety) came to me, and I recognized the familiar desire to escape -- from myself. I said to my soul, Why are you downcast? Why do you plague me so?
"The test of spiritual concentration is bringing the imagination into captivity. Is your imagination looking on the face of an idol? . . . Then your imagination of God is starved, and when you are up against difficulties you have no power, you can only endure in darkness. If your imagination is starved, do not look back to your own experience; it is God Whom you need." -- Oswald.
It is God whom I need. Not praise for my writing. Not money. Not people telling me I'm wonderful. "Go right out of yourself, away from the face of your idols" -- Oswald.
"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?" Isaiah 40:26. The same God who placed each ball of flaming gas in the sky, who created birds as diverse as the hummingbird and the horned owl and gave them each the ability to fly -- that same God loves me, values me, and gave me a job to do.
It is the Lord Jesus Christ whom I serve, and he will make me able for all that is required today.
Barbara
It was like the word "starved" was hovering over our office all day yesterday. I felt the same heaviness and dread as you did. And I even kept opening the Bible for some sort of food to fill me. When I went home things were better. I even exercised! But today as I stepped in our office I prayed over it and fought a spiritual battle. And things are different today. Hopefully within myself as much as within our office. We keep going even when it doesn't make sense and even when it's miserable. We may not recognize it always, but God is molding us and transforming us. I know your heart is for God and his kingdom. He is using you.
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