The well is deep -- the well of sorrow, of disappointments, of forgotten joys and dreams, but especially the well of longing.
"We limit the Holy One by remembering what we have allowed Him to do for us in the past, and by saying, 'Of course I cannot expect God to do this thing'" -- Oswald.
Here is what I want: I want to wake up every morning and get the Point. And, at least fifty percent of the time, I'd like to be excited about the Point. I want to understand what the authors of the Westminster Shorter Catechism meant when they wrote the first question and answer. Q: What is the chief end of man? A: The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. I want to know the answers to these questions: How can I -- a weak, tired, sinful, overweight, often disillusioned, sometimes angry, 50-year-old woman -- glorify God? How can I enjoy a Being whom I cannot see or hear or touch? I want God to reveal Himself to me with unmistakable clarity. I want -- both for myself and the people I love -- to understand and internalize the amazing love of which Paul writes in Romans 8. And I want to live every moment of my life under the influence of the above knowledge.
Here's the rub: I cannot be sure that this is also what God wants, so as Oswald describes, I struggle with the pail and rope trying to get the water for myself. At least that's what I've done up to now. Today, I'm going to begin something new. I'm going to assume that these desires have been shaped by God and that they are therefore good desires, desires that he wants to fulfill, and even though my personal history might indicate otherwise, I'm going to believe fulfillment is possible.
Truly, the well of my incompleteness is deep, but I choose to believe in a loving, almighty God with limitless resources.
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