"Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in a bucket -- to be so hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served?" -- Oswald
In all honesty, no. My reaction to two recent events came quickly to mind as evidence against me on this score. First, I recently found out that a young friend (not yet 30) is about to have her first book published. Certainly, a piece of me was happy for her. She is a talented writer with an important message. A larger piece, however, was jealous. There is no way to sugar coat it. I thought, That should be me. Secondly, I did not receive acknowledgment for a small project in which I was involved. Gr-r-r-r-r went something scary deep within me. I am thirsty for recognition. Add to those my disproportionate elation over every little thumbs-up or "I like it" my words receive, and it becomes obvious how far I have to go on the road to humility.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing (or expectation of recognition), so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life," Philippians 2:14-15. These are the verses that precede the one Oswald chose for today, and I see them as a kind of starting place. I question whether I will ever reach the mindset Oswald describes in today's reading, but today, I can choose not to complain, and I can go to God with my need for significance.
Barbara
my own struggle lies with all that I have done as a wife and mother, and the tiny little pile of gratitude I've been awarded by them compared to the great big pile of "taken for granted" that I feel I'm lugging around a lot of the time. i try to combat this peevishness with gratitude, but mostly the peevishness wins. we all long to be recognized for the unique soul created within us. i am thankful that Christ is making me a new creature daily, and in the next life i will be free from this. thanks for your transparency barb.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Billy Collins poem, "The Lanyard"? Frank is cooking up at Clearwater Lodge (a Christian camp/retreat center) this weekend, and the speaker read that poem this morning as a picture of our relationship to God. I think it would make you smile (at the very least).
ReplyDeleteI listened to this and thoroughly enjoyed it, Barb. Here's the link of Billy Collins reading "The Lanyard."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EjB7rB3sWc