Jesus knows that his disciples will desert him: "A time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone" John 16:32. He knows their frailty and that, though they believe him to be sent by God and love him dearly, they will fail him. Still, his love for them remains firm, unchanged. He goes forward into his death for them and has their well being foremost in his mind: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33.
This same love applies to me. He has no illusions about me. He knows my limitations and that my love for him is flawed. He does not love me for what I can become, for my potential, and I have not been fooling him with my ideal Barbara act. He does not love me because I am dutifully obedient. He loves me for reasons of his own which are frankly unclear to me at this point. His death on the cross covers my sin and brings me into relationship with him. My well being never slips his mind. This must be the basis for my acts of obedience -- my gratitude, my love for him. I must always remember that his love came first. I do not earn it. I already have it.
"We have put our sense of duty on the throne instead of the resurrection life of Jesus. We are not told to walk in the light of conscience or of a sense of duty, but to walk in the light as God is in the light" -- Oswald. I must not fall into the older brother's trap -- a sense that God owes me something because I have been so good, so obedient. For starters, I cannot be that good, but more importantly, duty negates relationship. God and I do not have a contract -- my obedience in exchange for his love. No, we have a relationship -- he loves me, and to the best of my ability, I love him in return.
No comments:
Post a Comment