I had not thought about how dark it might be in the shadow of God's hand. And quiet.
Genesis 15 contains one of the most famous verses in Scripture. Paul quoted it in Galatians to reassure his readers that Abraham was saved by faith: "Then he believed in the Lord; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness," v. 6. And so, Paul argued, the true sons of Abraham are those who have faith. Abraham, by believing against all odds, set an example for all history to follow, but the reward for this belief, this faith, this hope was not immediate.
Today's verse comes in the middle of God's response to Abraham's request for reassurance: a strange ritual where God asks Abraham to bring him a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtle dove and a young pigeon. Abraham then splits each in half with the exception of the birds, lays the halves opposite each other, and strives to keep the vultures away. Then today's verse: "Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, terror and great darkness fell upon him." God seems to have come to him more like a nightmare than a dream. Terror is a strong word, and God's first words in this vision are not words of comfort. He tells Abraham that his descendants will be strangers in a strange land, slaves. Then comes the promise of inheritance. Then, quiet.
Oswald alludes to the following chapter where Abraham -- in the midst of silence from God -- listens to Sarah's advice. He determines to help God out and conceives a child with Hagar, Sarah's handmaid.
I am hesitant to trivialize Abraham's experience by making a comparison with mine, and yet, if I do not, he will remain a distant stranger in a book. I started this blog as a pilgrimage, a search for God and the personal relationship I believe he promises in His Word. I am approximately seven weeks into a year-long journey, and I have grown impatient, a bit frantic even (remember Veruca?) I have not achieved the goal -- a closeness with God. The number of comments have diminished considerably. It is quiet.
Oswald's word for today, for me: wait.
Barbara
God continues to bring you to mind EVERY SINGLE DAY. You are in my daily prayers and I am journeying with you.
ReplyDeleteAs I read your entry today, I remembered something my godly mentor told me many years ago. I was absolutely sold out to the Lord and determined to grow NO MATTER WHAT! Trouble was, I felt so alone, and complained that I just couldn't find people who were as determined and single-minded as I felt I was. Her response not only encouraged me but it turned out to be truer than I could have imagined. She said (I loosely quote), "Elizabeth, the road narrows the closer you walk with the Lord, but the people you meet along the road are the highest quality. So keep walking with the Lord and He will bring you godly companions." She was so right . . . but I had to walk alone with God before He began to fill my life with those people.
This entry (both yours and Oswald's) reminds me of the lonely road God has called me too. Remember in a last comment when I mentioned author and friend of my parents, Rev. Helm? Again I am reminded of his book and that extreme walk I so long to experience day to day. I know it is "self" that causes me to stray from that road and distracts me from the one purpose. I just wonder "God, what can I change right now...today...to draw me closer to your call." Like we talked about the other day, how can I daily live for God moment-by-moment? I like the word for the day: wait.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for walking with me. Jess, I looked back through all the comments, and I could not find a reference to Rev. Helm. Maybe you could bring me up to speed at work tomorrow.
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