Look Again and Think

I think God wrote Matthew 6 with me in mind. The two major themes of the chapter correlate with the two biggest struggles of my life: It's not about performance. Don't worry. Eugene Peterson paraphrases verse one like this: "Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it." When you care for the poor, when you pray, when you fast -- it's not about looking good. Not to the pastor or the poor or your boss or your friends or yourself.

Oswald's focus for yesterday and today is on the second theme which begins with verse 25: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Jesus then compares us to the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.

Yesterday, I realized there is a correlation for me between performance and worry. I am most inclined to worry when I perceive that I have not performed well. God must have taken this factor into account, right? He knows that I am but dust, that I am a sinful human being, that I am only able to come into his presence by virtue of his son's blood, and while he commands my obedience, he knows I will fail. He knows I will not always make the right choice when it comes to spending money and that I will sometimes lapse into envy or self-absorption. If I -- and my performance or lack thereof -- am able to negate God's sovereign plan for my life, then there is truly no hope.

I have to believe that in verses 29 and 30, Jesus is talking about more than flowing skirts and tailored dresses: "Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" He is able to dress me in grace. Every morning when I look up and confess my fears, my frailty and my failure, a lilies-of-the-field fresh start awaits.

Barbara