Yesterday

"But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the Lord will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard," Isaiah 52:12.

Webster Online defines rear guard as a military attachment designed to protect the back side of a main force. Beautiful imagery as Oswald has applied it -- to the end of one year and the beginning of the next.

Yesterday. "Our present enjoyment of God's grace is apt to be checked by the memory of yesterday's sins and blunders." Yes and yes again. I am inclined to replay my mistakes over and over as evidence to myself that hope is not warranted, that my spirit needs to remain firmly tied to the ground, that the other shoe will drop. My error is that, while "God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security in the present," I let my lack of faith in myself transfer to a lack of faith in God. I cannot create a resume of my past successes and build my hope on it. I can, however, build a resume of God's successes -- his interventions in my life even -- and build my hope on him.

"Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ." -- Oswald

Tomorrow. God leads me into the New Year. He has a plan. He has gone before me. No part of what happens in 2010 will be a surprise to him. He knows my frailty. Hear and believe your own words, Barbara: He loves me and wants what is best for me.

Today. I have this moment only. I will not clench my fists or cover my heart. I will not cringe in anticipation of my own failure. I will be open to the goodness of God.

Barbara