The Relinquished Life

"To be born from above of the Spirit of God means that we must let go before we lay hold, and in the first stages it is the relinquishing of all pretense. What Our Lord wants us to present to Him is not goodness, nor honesty, nor endeavour, but real solid sin; that is all He can take from us. And what does He give in exchange for our sin? Real solid righteousness. But we must relinquish all pretense of being anything, all claim of being worthy of God's consideration" -- Oswald.

God wants me to present my sin: I turn to food for comfort more often than I turn to God. When I've done a good thing, I usually want people to know it. There are way too many people that I just can't stand. I hold grudges. When my friends get recognition and praise, I am often envious. I have not loved God with all my heart, mind and soul. Even as I pursue this relationship with him, I have one eye on the possibility of publication. I live for recognition.

"There is always a sharp painful disillusionment to go through before we do relinquish. When a man really sees himself as the Lord sees him, it is not the abominable sins of the flesh that shock him, but the awful nature of the pride of his own heart against Jesus Christ" -- Oswald.

God wants me to relinquish all pretense of being worthy: I have been like the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son, hoarding the filthy rags of my personal righteousness like some kind of treasure that I might give in exchange and demand my due: "Look, all these years I've been slaving for you." How laughable. I want to change roles: "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. Forgive me."

My attention has recently been drawn to the hymn, Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy. I think it fits well with Oswald's message for today.

The Refrain:

I will arise and go to Jesus;
He will embrace me in his arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.

The Final Verse:

Let not conscience make you linger,
Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness he requireth
Is to feel your need of him.