Holiness Vs. Hardness Towards God

A bit of a stretch this analogy, but it means something to me: People frequently ask my husband the chef for recipes, and he gives them away freely. No trade secrets with this guy. Good food is a gift, and he's more than happy to share. Only, people don't usually follow the recipes. They think there's too much butter, so they cut it in half, or they substitute skim milk for cream, or the wild salmon was outrageously priced, so they buy farm-raised instead. And, then, no great surprise, their dish doesn't taste like Frank's; so they're either turned off the dish or certain Frank didn't give them the real recipe.

I think God wants more of me than I can give, so I make token efforts. They don't turn out well. I'm disappointed, and my heart hardens toward God. Oswald's first few sentences are so true of me that I am obliged to repeat them here: "The reason many of us leave off praying and become hard towards God is because we have only a sentimental interest in prayer. It sounds right to say that we pray; we read books on prayer which tell us that prayer is beneficial, that our minds are quieted and our souls uplifted when we pray; but Isaiah implies that God is amazed at such thoughts of prayer."

Oswald describes prayer as "a work that taxes every power," one in which we seek to attain the mind of Christ about the one for whom we pray. I want my mind to be quieted and my soul uplifted, but to tax my mind, my emotions, my strength? I groan inwardly at the thought. I came home today after a disappointing, frustrating day at work, and I wanted nothing more than to escape. I took a nap on the couch. I watched mindless television. A few arrow prayers were all I could manage, and I put off this blog until 10 p.m. My flesh is so terribly weak, and God calls me to so much more. Is there any hope?

I'm not sure I have ever read Isaiah 59 before. It is beautiful. Here is a little piece: "So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead. We all growl like bears; we moan mournfully like doves. We look for justice, but find none; for deliverance, but it is far away."

And God's answer to this dilemma: "The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm worked salvation for him, and his own righteousness sustained him."