I want to obey Jesus with "glad reckless joy" as Oswald suggests. "Reckless" implies some kind of adventure or new direction, abandoning the safe road, going out on a limb -- metaphors I would welcome at this point in my life. The problem is I haven't heard God calling me to go to Judea or Haiti or anywhere else. Oswald writes as though God has made his plan clear to each of us, and we are trailing behind, dragging our feet, evaluating whether it is safe to follow. I think it's more about distinguishing the call from my own selfish desires and dreams. Undeniably, part of his plan is staring me square in the face: I have a husband and four children; I am part of the Body of Christ; I work for a homeless shelter. How can I know that something new, something different, is really his calling? Occasionally, Frank and I get brilliant or not-so-brilliant ideas about how God might want to use us -- Frank dreams of starting a restaurant where he could hire men coming out of the Mission and train them, I dream of writing a book -- but what moves an idea from dream to calling? How does one decide to veer off the well-defined road of responsibilities and plunge into something new? I'm not sure the problem is so much fear of the plunge as conviction that the plunge is part of the plan.
I know what you mean, but what if later I regret my lack of conviction?
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