"Our lives must be the sacrament of our message" -- Oswald.
Oswald's image of a heart "crumpled into the purpose of God" struck me powerfully today. I have been suffering from a severe case of writer's block at my job, and the effects have been seeping over into this blog. I read Oswald, read the Scripture, nod my head in agreement, and have nothing to say. When I use the expression "writer's block," it may not convey the angst I feel. I would never call writing "easy," not for me any way. I always struggle with putting the thoughts together, making meaningful and sometimes powerful connections, and then wrestle again with the structure of each sentence. But lately, I cannot seem to line one thought up against another, and because I get paid to write, I am forced to make my fingers punch out letters on the keyboard, forming one forlorn word at a time on the screen. They are not happy words. They don't know what they are doing, and there is no synergy between them.
I am ever so anxious to get my groove back. Perhaps, however, God requires something more of me. Perhaps, rather than quick connections between life, the words I read and the words I write, God wants something slower. Perhaps the little electric impulses traveling from my eyes to my brain to my fingers are supposed to pass through my heart as well, changing me, turning me into my message.
Barbara
Good thought!
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