Readiness

Are we supposed to doggedly pursue our dreams or wait for the burning bush? Our self-help culture drives the former message in layers upon layers of multi-media marketing: "Go for it. Just do it. Follow your dreams. Make it happen. You won't get anywhere without planning." Oswald leans toward the latter -- only, while we are waiting, he writes, we should be contently serving in whatever menial capacity we find ourselves.

"We are so busy telling God where we would like to go." That's me. I want to be a writer, God. No, a real writer. I want to write books and be invited to do readings and go on Oprah and make some actual money so that Frank doesn't have to work so hard and our kids can go to college and we won't be buried under herculean piles of debt and I want to be wise and respected and seen as an expert on something and go to Europe and experience the larger culture and marvel at your beauty in the middle of the Pacific . . .

Here am I. Here am I. I am somewhere. I am in a house on North Karen in Spokane, Washington, a comfortable house with a gurgling stream and an out-of-control garden. With a husband and two daughters left at home. I am a writer for a Mission, a place with hundreds of stories to tell and everyday pictures of God's grace. I am on a pilgrimage. In search of the meaning of my life. In search of God.

I am somewhere.