"In the Garden of Gethsemane they slept as a result of their own sorrow, and at the end of three years of the closest and most intimate relationship of their lives they 'all . . . forsook him and fled' (Matthew 26:56)" -- Oswald.
I understand the desire to sleep, to escape. Reality seemed to be crumbling around them. Had the last three years all been an illusion? Were they kidding themselves? The present certainly seemed to discredit their belief that Jesus was ushering in a new order. He was predicting a betrayal, his own death. This was not what they had expected when they left their livelihoods to follow him.
For three years, they had what I say I want -- the closest and most intimate relationship of their lives -- and yet they forsook him and fled. Then, in their dejectedness, he came to them and gave them the one gift that allowed them to believe, stay awake and stand firm -- the Holy Spirit.
My relationship with God -- such as it is -- has defined my life. Will I forsake it now because it has not played out as I envisioned? Will I judge the basis of my life an illusion because I don't like the results?
My temptation when faced with what appears to be a crumbling reality -- but is actually a shattering of illusions -- is to sleep. Only the Holy Spirit can give me what is required to stay awake, face my disappointment and stand firm.
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